dadbeatdad | Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

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Why hello there. You've reached Lucifer Morningstar. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message after the tone and I might get back to you. Make it good~ Byyyyyyye~

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From:

dadbeatdad

I am sorry your best friend went home. But perhaps you will see them again one day. We don't know what the multiversed future holds.

Come over whenever you'd like. And bring One Sin with you too. We'll set them up with a room. Do they require a bed? We'll get one in the room either way, but I wanted to make sure.

From:

abnormalizes

I don't think you can lay in a bed comfortably, can you? [One Sin shakes their head no.] That's what I figured. We'll be over in twenty minutes.

[And twenty minutes later arrives one human and one Abnormality.]

From:

dadbeatdad

[Lucifer waits in the lobby and smiles.]

Welcome in! Hello there One Sin. May I call you One Sin? And Evangeline, always good to see you. The tea is ready. And you drink tea, One Sin?

From:

abnormalizes

[A bob at the first question, and a shake of the head at the second.]

I think tea would just pour out of them. -They feed on the "evil" that comes out in conversations between people, or at least that's what our studies suggest. But they appreciate the offer.

From:

dadbeatdad

I see I see! A Sineater then. Feeding on the weight of the sins. Healing the mental damage as they feast. Oh I just love that.

Very well. Anything you need to make yourself comfortable then, One Sin. Just bob at it and I will do my best.

[He will snap and summon some chairs, a table, tea, and a lovely little double hook stand thing in case One Sin just wants to hang on it by the arms of their cross.]

From:

abnormalizes

[Ooh, comfortable! Evangeline pulls a chair out for herself while One Sin hangs on to the stand.]

How's the hotel going so far? The grand opening seemed like it was pretty popular.

From:

dadbeatdad

[He smiles and sits with them, pouring the tea.]

Oh it is going well. We already have patrons. Even with that cursed card fiasco, things are going smoothly so far. We're hoping it only grows.

From:

abnormalizes

I'm sure it will! Especially as the first people you help out start to see results, they'll definitely be telling other people. So it'll snowball.

From:

dadbeatdad

Precisely! We'll get the snowball rolling, as it were, and it will become a success avalanche!

From:

abnormalizes

You've got this for sure. -One Sin, what do you think, does this sound like something you want to be part of?

[A nod from One Sin.]

From:

dadbeatdad

Then welcome to the team, One Sin. We're so glad to have you.

From:

abnormalizes

I'm sure they'll be helpful! They made working a lot easier for me back at home.

From:

dadbeatdad

I am certain they will. And you can come visit One Sin whenever you like. As well as me, of course.

From:

abnormalizes

You bet I will. Gotta get a regular dose of devil hugs, they're good for the soul.

From:

dadbeatdad

I do love how you praise me with blasphemy. Ha! Take that depression!

From:

abnormalizes

Blasphemous compliments are the best kind! Anyway, if I ever meet my world's God I've got a few things to say to Him about how He's running the place, so. Not a huge fan.

From:

dadbeatdad

Oh that would be a sight! Make sure to use his name a lot. That probably will get to him when you're telling him off.

From:

abnormalizes

I'm not sure he exists in my world, to be honest. Although I did fight an antichrist allegory once. Did I tell you about that?

From:

dadbeatdad

Oooo. No you didn't Tell me more.

From:

abnormalizes

Yeah, of course, hold on I've got a picture-

[She opens her hammerspace purse, pulls out a binder full of Abnormality pictures and management notes, and flips to a picture of a biblically accurate fetus.]

This is WhiteNight. He transforms twelve employees into His apostles and He says shit like 'I am thy Savior. Thou wilt abandon flesh and be born again, for I shall redeem you.' And then He and His apostles try to kill everyone in the facility.

From:

dadbeatdad

Ew. That is one ugly baby.

From:

abnormalizes

He used to be a hot plague doctor type and then he turned into this, I don't get it.

From:

dadbeatdad

How...disappointing.

From:

abnormalizes

Right! Go back to the old one!

I don't know if Jesus is real in my world, but we've got this guy killing a handful of employees every time he breaches containment while talking about redemption. Which I guess says a lot about the state of my world in general.