dadbeatdad | Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

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Why hello there. You've reached Lucifer Morningstar. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message after the tone and I might get back to you. Make it good~ Byyyyyyye~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

dadbeatdad

Then welcome to the team, One Sin. We're so glad to have you.

From:

abnormalizes

I'm sure they'll be helpful! They made working a lot easier for me back at home.

From:

dadbeatdad

I am certain they will. And you can come visit One Sin whenever you like. As well as me, of course.

From:

abnormalizes

You bet I will. Gotta get a regular dose of devil hugs, they're good for the soul.

From:

dadbeatdad

I do love how you praise me with blasphemy. Ha! Take that depression!

From:

abnormalizes

Blasphemous compliments are the best kind! Anyway, if I ever meet my world's God I've got a few things to say to Him about how He's running the place, so. Not a huge fan.

From:

dadbeatdad

Oh that would be a sight! Make sure to use his name a lot. That probably will get to him when you're telling him off.

From:

abnormalizes

I'm not sure he exists in my world, to be honest. Although I did fight an antichrist allegory once. Did I tell you about that?

From:

dadbeatdad

Oooo. No you didn't Tell me more.

From:

abnormalizes

Yeah, of course, hold on I've got a picture-

[She opens her hammerspace purse, pulls out a binder full of Abnormality pictures and management notes, and flips to a picture of a biblically accurate fetus.]

This is WhiteNight. He transforms twelve employees into His apostles and He says shit like 'I am thy Savior. Thou wilt abandon flesh and be born again, for I shall redeem you.' And then He and His apostles try to kill everyone in the facility.

From:

dadbeatdad

Ew. That is one ugly baby.

From:

abnormalizes

He used to be a hot plague doctor type and then he turned into this, I don't get it.

From:

dadbeatdad

How...disappointing.

From:

abnormalizes

Right! Go back to the old one!

I don't know if Jesus is real in my world, but we've got this guy killing a handful of employees every time he breaches containment while talking about redemption. Which I guess says a lot about the state of my world in general.

From:

dadbeatdad

Hm. That does not sound like a fun time. Or a fun individual.

From:

abnormalizes

No matter how used I am to my coworkers dying, it's still not my idea of a great time, no.

From:

dadbeatdad

At least here is a better place. Well, some of the time.

From:

abnormalizes

All of the time! -Like, okay, yeah, sometimes it's still dangerous, but people actually give a shit about me being in danger? Being safer is great, but - it's that most people care about each other that's the biggest difference from the City.