Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

[dadbeatdad]

Why hello there. You've reached Lucifer Morningstar. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message after the tone and I might get back to you. Make it good~ Byyyyyyye~

Comments

2/2;

[splittingheadache]

[... And immediately his eyes start to water.]

I - y... yes, sir. I can do that, yes. I -
I can do more than that, if you need. This hotel - it's a therapeutic hotel, right? For mental help where it's needed, among other things -
My magic... my Orange magic. It, ah...

[Hang on, he's gotta rub his nose on his sleeve.]

... I-it has the power to heal mental damage for others. Not... myself.
But others.

[dadbeatdad]

[Lucifer watches Louis's reaction careful but without any judgment or resentment. He's heard enough stories of other dickhead Lucifer's that he is sure it all sounds too good to be true.

Then it's like the walls break. Lucifer gently squeezes Louis's shoulder again.]

Only if you want to. I am sure many would really appreciate it. We should introduce you to one of the anomalies Evangeline left here. They also heal mental damage via confessions. Your powers might not work on you but do you think it would help you at all?

[splittingheadache]

It... might, but - what sort of confessions?
I have.... sat before enough preachers to confess my sins. Growing up in Louisiana. I would rather not do that further, if possible.

[His voice is still watery and wavering, saying as much - even taking a second to rub his nose on his sleeve again and everything. Gross.]

[dadbeatdad]

Nothing preachy. They don't judge. One Sin really only exists to heal mental damage. Just talking to them helps too, honestly. I think they enjoy it. Though they aren't one to talk back.

[splittingheadache]

Just... talking to them...?

[He's trying very hard to stop with the waterworks, of course, now taking a moment to wipe his eyes with his other sleeve.]

... I suppose I could give it a try. If it's simply to talk to them... that's doable.

[dadbeatdad]

We can even set you up in the library with some hot chocolate and I can bring One Sin up. And I can be there if you want. Just in case you need the support to start talking. How does that sound?

[splittingheadache]

Hot chocolate...?

[Looking up at Lucifer with the biggest, wettest, most pathetic eyes.
Look at him, Luci. Look at this pathetic wet cat of a man.]

... W-would it be... dairy-free? I, ah... I'm... vegan, unfortunately...

[dadbeatdad]

Of course! Would you like oat milk, almond milk, or soy milk? We got all three. I can have someone run to the store if you want something like coconut milk. What'll it be?

[splittingheadache]

Oat is fine - I've lived a life filled with soy milk, and I have...

[Pausing, looking down at nothing for a moment. War flashbacks.
And then looking up at Lucifer again.]

... History. With almond milk.

[dadbeatdad]

Oat it is as preferred. I'll remember that.

A bad history?

[splittingheadache]

...

The only source of almond milk in the land of the dead was a four-legged almond beast with teats like a cow.
It came out warm. Body temperature. And you had to filter it due to fur.
And it was the only milk substitute in the entire land of the dead, until I met the Guardian and asked him to create something that could do better.

[...]

He gave me a cleaner almond beast with milk that comes out cold and prefiltered. Didn't stop to think for a second that I may not want almond milk after dealing with what I had for twelve fucking years.

[Hey, so, the land of the dead might be a little fucked up,]

[dadbeatdad]

Hm. Two notes.

Disgusting and sounds like torture.

And I suppose the lesson is to word your wishes a tad more specifically than 'do better'.

And no almond milk anywhere near you. So three notes, I suppose in total.

[splittingheadache]

Mm... one, absolutely it was, yes. I would rather steer clear of almonds in general.

[Again, no one tell him marzipan is almonds.]

Two, however - it isn't my fault our Guardian is a bumbling idiot who forgets to dress himself from time to time.
I have seen it with my own two eyes, the moron stumbling out of his tower on the back of a living chair, completely without pants.

I'm not sure how he garnered that position. Because God thought it was funny, perhaps.

[...]

That all said - thank you, I know I can trust you to take that seriously.

[dadbeatdad]

...Is he at least impressive without his pants on?

[splittingheadache]

[Open mouth, finger up like he has something important to say to go with all of that -
Only to actually think about what Lucifer's just asked, mouth snapping shut again.]

...

Unfortunately, yes.

[dadbeatdad]

Hmm. Double edged sword kind of thing.

As for God's plan. Not even I can comprehend it. I would give insights if I had any.

And yes, I will take it seriously. Your comfort and happiness is important. The Haven Hotel is your safe haven too.