dadbeatdad | Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

Why hello there. You've reached Lucifer Morningstar. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message after the tone and I might get back to you. Make it good~ Byyyyyyye~

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[Here's Evangeline! And next to her is a floating skull on a cross wearing a crown of thorns, as you do.]

So, hi, this might be kind of weird but would you be willing to employ an Abnormality in your hotel?

-This is One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds. [The skull bobs a little in acknowledgement.] They can heal some mental damage if you confess your sins to them. Not a ton, but enough to lift some stress.

I brought them to Ellipsa a while ago, and up until now they were living with my friend Purple Mage helping them with their mental health. But Purple just went home, so I was wondering if maybe they would be able to help any at your hotel?

-They don't talk, and their mood can be a little hard to read. But they seem to like helping people?

[One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds bobs a little in the air again.]

Oh. Unholy hell.

THEY ARE JUST PRECIOUS! Look at them. I'm sorry but I just. Yes. Yes they can, if they want to.

I am sorry your friend has returned home though. I am sure you'll miss them. Why don't you both come over to tea? If you need to talk, I mean.

They are adorable! I'm so glad you understand that, some people have trouble seeing it for some reason.

[One Sin tilts slightly to the side.]

-I'd love to come over for tea. Purple was my best friend here, so... I'll definitely miss them a ton.

I am sorry your best friend went home. But perhaps you will see them again one day. We don't know what the multiversed future holds.

Come over whenever you'd like. And bring One Sin with you too. We'll set them up with a room. Do they require a bed? We'll get one in the room either way, but I wanted to make sure.

I don't think you can lay in a bed comfortably, can you? [One Sin shakes their head no.] That's what I figured. We'll be over in twenty minutes.

[And twenty minutes later arrives one human and one Abnormality.]

[Lucifer waits in the lobby and smiles.]

Welcome in! Hello there One Sin. May I call you One Sin? And Evangeline, always good to see you. The tea is ready. And you drink tea, One Sin?

[A bob at the first question, and a shake of the head at the second.]

I think tea would just pour out of them. -They feed on the "evil" that comes out in conversations between people, or at least that's what our studies suggest. But they appreciate the offer.

I see I see! A Sineater then. Feeding on the weight of the sins. Healing the mental damage as they feast. Oh I just love that.

Very well. Anything you need to make yourself comfortable then, One Sin. Just bob at it and I will do my best.

[He will snap and summon some chairs, a table, tea, and a lovely little double hook stand thing in case One Sin just wants to hang on it by the arms of their cross.]

[Ooh, comfortable! Evangeline pulls a chair out for herself while One Sin hangs on to the stand.]

How's the hotel going so far? The grand opening seemed like it was pretty popular.

[He smiles and sits with them, pouring the tea.]

Oh it is going well. We already have patrons. Even with that cursed card fiasco, things are going smoothly so far. We're hoping it only grows.

I'm sure it will! Especially as the first people you help out start to see results, they'll definitely be telling other people. So it'll snowball.

Precisely! We'll get the snowball rolling, as it were, and it will become a success avalanche!

You've got this for sure. -One Sin, what do you think, does this sound like something you want to be part of?

[A nod from One Sin.]

Then welcome to the team, One Sin. We're so glad to have you.

I'm sure they'll be helpful! They made working a lot easier for me back at home.

I am certain they will. And you can come visit One Sin whenever you like. As well as me, of course.

You bet I will. Gotta get a regular dose of devil hugs, they're good for the soul.

I do love how you praise me with blasphemy. Ha! Take that depression!

Blasphemous compliments are the best kind! Anyway, if I ever meet my world's God I've got a few things to say to Him about how He's running the place, so. Not a huge fan.

Oh that would be a sight! Make sure to use his name a lot. That probably will get to him when you're telling him off.

I'm not sure he exists in my world, to be honest. Although I did fight an antichrist allegory once. Did I tell you about that?

Oooo. No you didn't Tell me more.

Yeah, of course, hold on I've got a picture-

[She opens her hammerspace purse, pulls out a binder full of Abnormality pictures and management notes, and flips to a picture of a biblically accurate fetus.]

This is WhiteNight. He transforms twelve employees into His apostles and He says shit like 'I am thy Savior. Thou wilt abandon flesh and be born again, for I shall redeem you.' And then He and His apostles try to kill everyone in the facility.

Ew. That is one ugly baby.

He used to be a hot plague doctor type and then he turned into this, I don't get it.

Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

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