dadbeatdad | Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

...Expectations and desires have to be expressed by both parties. That is for friendship, relationships, and family all.

And fearing something does not always mean distrust in the person. It can mean a failing of self-worth too.

Wukong, it isn't all on you. And people can get some things from certain people. That doesn't diminish their relationships with the others in their lives.

I'd like to believe that. But basically everyone I know can't be wrong. That's not how that works.

[He takes a long swig.]

It...makes me feel sometimes like...I dunno...something is wrong with me. People have said they were wrong, or they took it too far, or other people can be wrong...but it just...keeps happening. So it can't be that.

Wukong. Alright. What could be wrong with you? Can you name me something specific that you feel is wrong with you?

I...wish I could write the list. I'm bad at planning, drag the people I care about into danger, I'm a terrible mentor...a terrible friend.

And I didn't even realize the people I called my friends don't trust me.

...as a start.

I trust you.

[Lucifer says softly. He takes another drink and sets his bottle aside.]

Planning isn't everyone's strong suit. That's not a flaw, it is a lack of skill. If people follow you, or danger comes for you and your friends, unless you invited it or sought it out, that isn't your fault or a flaw.

You tell me how proud you are of MK and his growth. Part of being a mentor is allowing your student to face their demons themselves. Not to face their demons for them.

As for a friend, I find you to be a good friend, Wukong. And I doubt you are a terrible friend unless you are wearing a mask when you're around me.

[Wukong doesn't interrupt Lucifer, just listening to him talk and wishing he had that conviction.]

...then why do you think most people say I'm the problem?

Remember what I said about scapegoats? When relationships suffer, when someone is hurt by someone, they want someone to blame.

They can have legitimate grievances. Pain. But it's easier to focus on the faults of the other party than look inward sometimes at what they contributed to the relationship breaking down.

In the end, what you must ask them is that same question. Is it your words, your behavior, or just all of you that is a problem? Their answer will tell you if you can salvage that relationship or not.

But if you can't communicate with one another, they may answer one way, you hear it another, then they assume something else. For difficult conversations like that, it's best to have a mediator.

Maybe...maybe you're right. With Red Son...it doesn't matter what I do if I don't give him what he needs anyway.

Mediation might...well it can't burn things any faster.

Then here is an idea. Why not ask me? I could be your mediator.

...

[Wukong is quiet for a long moment, maybe long enough to appear like he dozed off or something.]

...do you want me to ask so you can say you were asked instead of that you offered?

[He looks at Lucifer finally.]

That and if you actually want help, you should ask for it. So both.

It's a brilliant plan, isn't it?

Well...half of asking for help is conceding that you need it soooo...

[He smiles a little finally.]

Since you're open to it, would you give mediation a go?

I would be glad to. Leave it up to me, Wukong.

But putting my mediator hat on, I'd like you to think about why you think your attempts to talk to Red Son have all crashed and burned. And did you go into them hoping it would work this time or did part of you think it would just end badly from the start?

Heh...well, Mr. Mediator, past experience tells me I probably said the wrong thing or didn't react the way he was hoping. It seems to be a thing that if he doesn't get what he needs first it doesn't really matter what else I do or what I did.

And yeah, I did think they would at least go...better. Better would have been great.

[He sighs in frustration, his tail flicking in annoyance.]

But nearly every conversation seems to go back to that. What he needs and that I don't fuck it up. Or what I need to change or do better with. Except after I...died. And when he showed me his ideal future.

What was this ideal future?

It was him with his and MK and Saya's...I'll be surprised if you don't know her...but their kids. A big home, with Macaque and I there. Just everyone being a family.

Oh yes. I know Saya. Poor girl. She is...having a hard time.

That sounds sweet. Least, in some form, he does want you in his life. In his future. We just need to fix the foundation of your relationship to work toward that future.

Saya's awesome. First no strings friend I've ever made. I wish I could help her more than just keeping her company sometimes.

You're the expert here, and I've got no ideas left.

Leave it up to me.

A small piece of advice I'll give you is next time you speak with her. Do not try to comfort or soothe her guilt. Let her talk and acknowledge what she is saying. Let her just be as she is for a bit. Acknowledge the pain and turmoil.

Let her know, yes. That shit does indeed suck. I think she needs that right now.

I can try, I'm not good at that since she usually hits me with apologies for things where she did nothing wrong.

Just do your best. That's all you can do.

Well, I doubt she'll hold it against me if I mess up. So you're not wrong.

That's the spirit. And speaking of more spirits, we got more booze to drink. To us working toward a happier future!

[He picks up his bottle and holds it out for the toast.]

Yeah. To us and a happier future.

[He clinks his bottle against Lucifer's and proceeds to start drinking with the clear intent not to surface until it's empty. And from there to continue through the bottles until he literally passes out, slumping against his newest friend as he does.]

[Lucifer is petting Wukong and sighs. He looks at his friend and pulls out his phone.]

Better text Charlie. I'm not going anywhere. Man you're heavy. Stone monkey indeed.

Seasons - Lucifer's Voicemail

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