Rakes as in … [ She nods. A few issues is potentially an Understatement, and Papaque knows the score. ] Yeah, pretty much.
[ Her legs swing lightly, gently, beneath the table. Swing, swing. ]
I have some identity issues. [ She gives Ringo another measured squeeze—relax—squeeze—relax, centering herself, even as her gaze slides away from Macaque and Lucifer. ] … DID, essentially. And it's — [ She wiggles one wing in lieu of a handwave-y gesture. Give her a moment, she's looking for A) the right words and B) the right order to put them in. ]
Um.
[ H. Hmmm. ]
… So, um, thinking about it — I think the objectives and taboos might be mine? [ Another Ringo squish for the road! ] Or, um. 'Mine'. Inverted commas. … Like — electrical wiring, it runs through the whole house but there's a central fuse box in one room?
[ She pauses a moment, legs still swinging. ]
[ Taps her toes against the floor. Shakes her head as if to clear it, and looks back at the two of them. ]
Less personhood … more identity. [ Which in some cases is maybe probably at least slightly tied to personhood. Maybe. ] The big taboo is our original's name, and it's tied directly to Epsilon. There was a long time where I could barely think about color associations without slipping in a bad way. It's more manageable now, between the heart game, therapy, and learning to … think around things really carefully?
… All that to say — while that taboo won't actually activate, taking our time with guided meditation would be for the best. I can teach you some of the signs I use when I know I'm getting stuck. And Dad's amazing — he's really, really good at recognising what's happening and helping me out. [ Sometimes she doesn't know she's slipping or falling until it's already happened. It sucks! But her papa is wonderful and incredible and she loves him very, very much. ]
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2025-02-13 05:59 pm (UTC)[ Her legs swing lightly, gently, beneath the table. Swing, swing. ]
I have some identity issues. [ She gives Ringo another measured squeeze—relax—squeeze—relax, centering herself, even as her gaze slides away from Macaque and Lucifer. ] … DID, essentially. And it's — [ She wiggles one wing in lieu of a handwave-y gesture. Give her a moment, she's looking for A) the right words and B) the right order to put them in. ]
Um.
[ H. Hmmm. ]
… So, um, thinking about it — I think the objectives and taboos might be mine? [ Another Ringo squish for the road! ] Or, um. 'Mine'. Inverted commas. … Like — electrical wiring, it runs through the whole house but there's a central fuse box in one room?
[ She pauses a moment, legs still swinging. ]
[ Taps her toes against the floor. Shakes her head as if to clear it, and looks back at the two of them. ]
Less personhood … more identity. [ Which in some cases is maybe probably at least slightly tied to personhood. Maybe. ] The big taboo is our original's name, and it's tied directly to Epsilon. There was a long time where I could barely think about color associations without slipping in a bad way. It's more manageable now, between the heart game, therapy, and learning to … think around things really carefully?
… All that to say — while that taboo won't actually activate, taking our time with guided meditation would be for the best. I can teach you some of the signs I use when I know I'm getting stuck. And Dad's amazing — he's really, really good at recognising what's happening and helping me out. [ Sometimes she doesn't know she's slipping or falling until it's already happened. It sucks! But her papa is wonderful and incredible and she loves him very, very much. ]